"kitties go apeshit"

what

amagah i am just waiting for this week to end. just throw me into the exam hall already and let me sit for three papers in one day not one paper in three consecutive days, please.

i've been ubbbbbeeeeerrrrrrrr b-o-r-e-d at home. bored bored bored bored boooooooored. i was so bored that i actually bothered to switch on my laptop to blog about how bored i am. gawd. see, i know i shouldn't go out because i gotta be a good girl and stay at home to study. but the incarceration isn't making me study more it's just making me drown in a pool of boredom. i have finished three storybooks and now i'm tired of reading so i have resorted to cooking, making popsicles, taking a whole lot of pictures of floop, walking around the house aimlessly, staring at walls, and brushing my teeth after every meal.

ZE BOREDOMZ IZ ENGULFINGZ MEHZ

a small surprise, my favourite things, anything, please?

being an all-rounder..

..it  BLOWS. 

for the past few days i've been doing stacks and stacks of question papers. and every, single, time i score about 33 out of 40 for all my subjects. now don't get me wrong, that's a pretty decent score. however, when you've read your textbook(including the parts that aren't so important) twice, studied your notes about four times for each subject, did more than frigging SIXTY papers only in the past month.. and when you're able to regurgitate every, single, fact from your notes/textbook.. 33 out of 40 is pretty pathetic.

it stinks, knowing that that is your limit. knowing that you're putting in ALL the effort you possibly can, and not being able to transcend it. why? because you are a mere all-rounder, condemned to an average life.

i should be achieving greatness, with all the effort i am investing into this meaningless exam. but no, all i'll ever be is "good". wanna be brilliant? that's impossible.

i want to achieve greatness not for any sort of glory, but only because it is fair.



i wish i was intelligent.

no. i wish that i was just brilliant at something, anything. i don't have to be smart if i'm a natural at dolphin training, drawing, singing, sports, fishing, whatever.


i'm so done. i will go and sleep my frustration off now, and resume my life of painful mediocrity tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, until the day i die.

i better be the best harp player in heaven or something.

but i don't have a Great-aunt Birte

"...and I want you all to remember - that you must not dream yourselves back to the times before the war, but the dream for you all, young and old, must be to create an ideal of human decency, and not a narrow-minded and prejudiced one. That is the great gift our country hungers for, something every little peasant boy can look forward to, and with pleasure feel he is a part of - something he can work and fight for."

Kim Malthe-Bruun was part of the Resistance, and that was a little paragraph taken from the letter that he wrote to his mother the night before he was executed.

i have never had much emotions regarding the Holocaust, but that little excerpt broke my heart.

honestly? i wish you never changed