stupid lab report

a m b s a c e

it's been this and that, one after another
and i keep it to myself
some because it is only for me
but some because there is nobody else


all the tests...
and not the educational kind,
what do i do now?


nights over here are better,
lonelier but more peaceful
i'd rather be at home
but i shouldn't


i watched my dad fall for the first time
once,
and again the next day,
and the callous remarks that followed
...i couldn't.


honestly i'm not even tired anymore, i'm just done.

chocolates vs emails

i have to send out about 20 emails to universities,
so i switched my laptop on and told myself,
"okay, for every 5 emails i send out, i get to eat a piece of chocolate."



now i'm thinking,
"okay, once i finish all the chocolates, i better start sending out those emails."

i wake up into a nightmare

"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truth-less ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded."

i don't pray much anymore, but tonight i will pray for God to take me away.

lol much?

"The other helpful hint is more of an observation -- do not go into the zone looking to capture a Chansey, because if you do, you will fail.  You will have epic fail after epic fail.  Why?  Because the game knows you are trying to get a Chansey.  It just KNOWS man.  And because it knows, it will do everything that it can to cause you to fail, because that is how Karma works, and you should not have stolen little Susy Smith's apple pie from her lunch box that time in Second Grade, man.  Yeah, that's right! 

Karma knows what you did, and Karma will punish you.  Oh yeah!   But Karma can be fooled -- so when you go into the zone, just you know, nonchalantly say to the room, "If I catch a Chansey, cool, but I am not here you know, just to do that... I am here to relax man, this is my vacation from being a Pokemon Trainer and I am here to have fun, not capture a Chansey!"  This will lull the game into a false sense of security, because it thinks you are not really there to capture Chansey, so it will not get in the way if you happen to pull one, thus giving you much better odds at actually capturing it.  What?  You do not believe me?  Well, go try it my way and you will see, I am totally right about this!"

..and that, my friends, is pokemon philosophy.

hold me now, i'm six feet from the edge and i'm thinking,

maybe six feet ain't so far down