a n c h o r

I've stopped wanting to sleep as much, because i hate it that i am in such a comfortable, ignorant bliss only to be woken up into all this clamor. Every day i wake up with the bags under my eyes a little heavier, a little darker, and every day i wonder how i am going to get through the day.

But i always do. Because my friends in college are the sweetest and fill my heart with joy and laughter. I love them to bits and pieces; all of them really are lovely.

But the challenge isn't to survive the day, it is to survive what happens AFTER the day. When i am home after college, when the responsibilities and burden and blame and anger and unnecessary bickering overwhelm me once again. 

Always having to be emotionally stable for two extra people is tiring, even more so when they are your emotionally retarded parents. Their bombs are susceptible to exploding anytime, and i must clean up the emotional debris that they caused. 

All the while my own bomb is growing ever so slightly as well.