FIRST of all, you get periods. Dear guys, you bunch don't think it's that bad huh. Let me try my best to explain what it is like. If you are in public, you will have that constant paranoia of getting "stained". You will always have to ask your friends to "check" your butt out; if you are alone, you gotta keep going to the toilet to check for yourself. And if you do get stained, *and if you do not have a wonderfully handy best friend(me) who keeps a pad with her at all times*, a sense of utter hopelessness WILL ENGULF YOUR ENTIRE BEING. Then you shall spend a half hour locking yourself in the toilet trying to wash it off.
Then there is the cramps. I believe that period cramps prepare you for the contractions you will receive when you suffer from the Nine Months Parasite. Some girls get backaches, shoulder aches, headaches, whateverotheraches, along with their cramps, and some are not even able to get out of their bed when they are on their period. If you think girls are just being weaklings, try having your prostate gland break down inside your body then we will talk.
Oh and if you are a girl, you are a definite master of the poker face. BECAUSE. Every time you sneeze, cough, or stand up after sitting down for some time, the Niagara Falls of blood-soaked uterus lining and egg take action. And the whole time you gotta keep the straightest face you have... and walk it off.
SECONDly, the whole girly thing is really just a waste of time, money, and effort. "Girly" meaning the dresses, make-up, and dressing up. You must make sure that your dress is appropriate for the specific event- that it is not too casual, or too formal. So that means you gotta have 3 dresses: one casual, one semi-casual, and one formal. And then there is the "Silent Rule of the Pretentious Women who suffer from Inferiority Complexes" that you cannot keep wearing the same dress for the rest of your life so you need to buy a few of the 3 dresses mentioned. After that, you gotta make sure your shoes match. You surely cannot wear your converse and not give a crap about what people think, because dearest mother will slaughter you. Which means you gotta buy a whole new wardrobe to match that dress(it is not just shoes you gotta worry about- you still have the bags, earrings, hair accessories, necklaces, and bracelets).
Make-up, make-up, make-up. What is the point. For me, at least. Because when i put on make-up, i do not look any prettier or better, or taller. I just look like i splattered make-up on my face. Besides, why should i try to perfect what is already perfect ha-ha-ha.
Dressing is also a huge waste of time for me. You see, some people dress to impress... but I dress just so i will not be naked.
THIRDly, you gotta give birth. When you have your period, Niagara Falls commences. However, when you give birth... A NEW SOUL IS BROUGHT TO EXISTENCE.
P.s. my inspiration for this rant came from the period that just ended, and the fancy pansy dancy lansy chancy dinner i gotta attend tomorrow night.
P.p.s. my third point is not applicable to me yet, that is why it is not a part of my inspiration.
or isssssssssssss itttttttttttttt.............................................................
No comments:
Post a Comment