love is shit

i’m the kind who will sacrifice whatever i’m doing if he needs me, even if it’s for the stupidest reasons(like lack of 2 days’ sleep due to a freaking demanding puppy), even if i don’t particularly want to. 


he’s the kind who will sacrifice things for me, when it’s convenient for him. when he’s not doing anything. when it’s easy to. 

is it too much if i say that i deserve someone who loves me just as much as i love him? that i should have someone who wants me equally? that i should have someone who is afraid of losing me enough to hardly ever take me for granted? cause i am bloody sick of being under-appreciated.

i asked him at least 3 times to come over on sunday. i desperately needed help with the puppy i was looking after. i had only slept for 7 hours altogether in the past 2 days before sunday. so when sunday came, i had reached my limit. i needed someone to take the puppy burden off me, even if it was only for 2 hours. 

please understand these things:
1) my olevels exam commences this thursday
2) the puppy will howl horribly loud if he is in the cage or if no one is with him
3) i had to sleep downstairs with the puppy so that the neighbors won’t complain. still, i couldn’t get much sleep because i had to take the puppy out every few hours to poop/pee and i had to constantly check to see if he was chewing on our furniture. (he tore my mom’s bag apart when i was fast asleep)
4) having only 7 hours of sleep in two days made my brain stop functioning. i actually couldn’t study for my exams. i am not exaggerating. i tried, every second that i could, to memorize all my science shit but my brain was not taking in anything. do you know how stressful that was?
5) he was the only one i could count on because i knew that everyone else couldn’t be bothered.


do you see how much i needed him on sunday? but he wouldn’t come, and these were the reasons he gave me:
it was mildly inconvenient, he would only be able to come for a short while, and basically because he didn’t really want to.

sunday was also our 4th year anniversary.